do you ever look at yourself in the mirror so long that you see the devil

?

votreetoilefilante:

WELL FUCK YOU
FUCK EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER DONE FOR ME

FUCK EVERY PROMISE THAT YOU’VE MADE ME, EVERY TENDER WORD OR THOUGHT YOU’VE SHARED

WHAT IS THIS TO MEAN YOU’VE CARED?? WHAT IS THIS MAGNIFICENT FAVOR SHARED, THAT MY POOR SOUL YOU’D THINK TO SPARE?

WHY, WHAT IS THIS THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE TO ME? WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?
WHAT

HAVE

I

DONE

i know what i havent done, i know i was never good enough, i was never tough enough, i was never there enough or pretty enough or said enough or talented or smart or well-read or musically inclined or tall or blonde or funny or witty or outgoing or sexual or creative or spontaneous or enough enough

BUT WHY ME

WHAT HAVE I DONE

I’VE DONE NOTHING

HAVENT I

IVE DONE NOTHING

USELESS AND HOPELESS AND DEPRAVED AND GREEDY, OBLIVIOUS AND IGNORANT AND DOWNRIGHT NEEDY

GET AWAY FROM ME FOR I AM UNSAVORY SCUM

I AM NO FUCKING FOOL
I KNOW MY PLACE

I’LL HIDE AWAY ASHAMED TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES
LASH AT MY BACK FOR IT IS WHAT I DESERVE

NO I HAVENT GOT THE NERVE TO DO WHAT I KNOW I OUGHT

FUCKING GO

FUCKING LEAVE ME

THOUGH YOU AND I BOTH KNOW YOU NEED ME

OR SO WE THOUGHT SO WE PRAYED SO WE LIVED

JUST GO

JUST LET ME GO

DONT HOLD ON DONT CALL ME BACK AND DONT SORRY IF I DONT COME BACK

DONT TELL YOURSELF YOU FEEL SOME GUILT

IVE GRIPPED THAT BLADE FIRM AT THE HILT, AND YOU KNOW WHY

OH YOUVE GOT TO SEE WHY

BLADE RIPPING THROUGH, SOMETHING I HAD NO COURAGE TO DO

BUT THIS IS IT, THIS IS DONE, TIME IS OUT THIS ROPE IS SEVERED

so just stop it now, we are done, this was stupid.

to ever think that something like this would ever be good for me.